Always & Forever (Battle Born MC Book 4) Read online

  “Only if Tami comes with you.”

  I shake my head at her and walk out the door, putting my shades back on. I get back on the road and continue my trip alone. Feeling like shit that Solo hasn’t come along with me. Truth is, I miss his dumb ass, too. But I think it’s time that I dealt with the shit in my head alone. How can one little woman dig so far into your soul and not even know it? Tami is special to me and I don’t even know why. Because of that, and the feelings she can get out of me, she scares the shit out of me.

  I was happy living a life free of attachments and minimal connections. Feelings make things messy, it’s scary as fuck to trust someone with your heart. I’ve never trusted a bitch to get close to me. I’ve always wanted the simple pleasures in life, but she has changed that.

  Chapter 7

  Pawn

  The sun has started to set when I pull up on her street. I’m not shocked one bit that I have ended up here. I park my bike and turn it off.

  I sit here for just a moment and gain some courage that I can do this right. I can do right by her, even if I want to dirty my perfect little angel a bit.

  Tami walks out of her small house and stops by the top step, leaning against the banister and crossing one foot over the other, then her arms. She is glowing from the setting sun, in oranges and yellows that bounce around her. My angel.

  She waits me out and doesn’t move. My eyes memorize every curve of her body. They travel over her tanned legs and arms. My heart takes a picture of her perfect face.

  In this moment, I know I could never hurt this woman. I am not my father. I would die for her. Fuck, I can’t live without her in my life.

  Finally, I get up from the bike and reach into the saddle bag for the six pack I just bought, along with some burgers. My eyes stay focused on hers as I make my way up the steps. She smiles bigger the closer I get, encouraging me to move a little faster. She makes me want to be better.

  I take the last two steps at once and place the beer and food on the top one to stand in front of her. She turns so that her back is now resting against the banister. Her hands are at her sides and her head tilts up to look into my face. My heart pounds in my chest with wanting something so beautiful and sweet for the first time in my life.

  My right hand grips her shirt and I pull her to me. Tami’s hands come around my waist and she snuggles into my chest. I hold her to me and rest my head on top of hers. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t stay away any longer.” She exhales and doesn’t say anything for a long time.

  Neither one of us can find the words but our touch says it all. My hands rub up and down her back until I need to see her face. I gently grab her head so that she’d look into my eyes. The sun makes hers look so bright, with gold and hazel sparkling in them.

  “Angel,” I rasp, “I’ll try to be a better man for you.”

  Tami comes up onto her tiptoes and gives me a quick kiss. I hold her there and take her lips my way, passionately kissing her with a hunger only she makes me crave. Her small hands clench on my cut. The connection between us is so powerful and strong, better than any high I’ve ever experienced. Tami’s heart laced with lust.

  She laughs when I pull her bottom lip between my teeth. “We better eat.” She raises a brow at me. I step down and pick up the stuff I brought, then follow her to sit on her porch swing. She sits on one end and I sit in the middle, setting the food next to me. I pull her legs over to rest on my lap, then open and hand her a beer and a hamburger.

  My hand roams over her smooth legs while I eat, the anticipation building slowly at what will come next. We eat and drink in silence, watching the horizon and the day ending. “Pawn, I don’t know how to do this either. I’m just as scared and as worried as you are.”

  I think about her words and the truth and honesty in them. She’s so brave and doesn’t hide even though this is scary for all of us. She finds honesty to be her strength.

  “I’m not any more experienced than you are, Tami, at love.” I start to laugh, “You probably know more about that than me.” I pull my bottle to my lips and take a long pull from the beer. “All I know is that I can’t let you go. I want you.” I turn to look at her and a tear leaks from the corner of her eye. Her hand catches it and wipes it away.

  Setting my beer underneath the swing, I pick her up and sit her on my lap as I swing us back and forth.

  “I want you too, Pawn. But I can’t pick between you and Solo and I don’t want to betray either one of you. I feel so torn and I hate it.” She shudders and exhales the tension out. I hold on to her, her words wounding me. My angel, my new drug, won’t let me go. One hit from her, and, even though she can’t devote herself to me fully, I can’t leave her.

  “Don’t worry about that today, angel,” the words come out, although I struggle to find them, and my throat feels so tight with emotion.

  My hands run over her hair and arms, claiming her as mine. I can’t let her go. “I want you,” I repeat to her again.

  I need her to hear me, to believe me.

  Tami

  “My whole life I’ve never been wanted before.” My fingers run through Pawn’s long, dark blonde hair at the back of his head. “My mom died when I was young, and I was put into foster care. I don’t really remember her at all. I don’t know who my father is, and I don’t care to.” I take in the smell of the outdoors, letting it calm me as I continue my story. “Growing up in foster care wasn’t great. You basically have a place to sleep and food. The older I got, the scarier it was. The more you’ve seen while in the system, the more of the reality you see.”

  Pawn kisses the corner of my mouth and I see the same pain in his eyes, of wanting to belong, to feel loved for himself as well.

  “I met Amanda, another girl in the same foster home as me. There was this boy who was so creepy. We ran away together to get away from that jerk. We thought we could make it on our own in the streets.” My body involuntarily shivers at the memories.

  “What happened?” Pawn’s grip on me tightens.

  “We lived off the streets for over a year, stealing food and money. In New Mexico, it never was cold, thank God. But we lived off the streets. Amanda got a tip off this guy that there was a deal with diamonds. Being the young and dumb girls that we were, we stole them when they fell asleep.”

  “That’s when you ran into Bear? The Battle Born brother who was dealing on the side?” Pawn fills in.

  “Yes, Bear caught us and kidnapped us, and I-” My fear and pain from that day comes forward at full force. “He raped Amanda and beat her badly for it. Her screams and grunts are memories I will take with me to my grave. He then put us in the backseat of his diesel truck. Outside of Las Vegas, there was a stop where he got into a fight with another guy from your club that pulled him over. Buck. He shot him and then dragged the dead man in the back of his truck. I don’t know what happened to him. Eventually, Amanda and I were separated when we were sold.”

  I curl into Pawn at the guilt I have for not knowing what happened to her and no way of finding her either. “I wish I knew she was okay. I would feel better, I guess I wouldn’t feel bad for being happy because she must have gone through so much more than me. They didn’t harm me because they were going to sell a virgin for so much more. No one touched me.”

  “Fuck.” Pawn stills the swing and says, “Tami, you were a kid then. What could you have done? I hope too that she found a way out.”

  “Yeah,” is all I can say.

  “You know,” he starts, “I’ve thought about you for a long time since you’ve been here. I wanted you since that time in the bar, when you started working. Couldn’t keep my eyes off you. I just waited until I thought it was the best time,” he shrugs off his confession. “You needed a little time to adjust and then I was scared to do anything about it.”

  There was no way I could hold the smile that crept up on me, “You watched me as much as I watched you?”

  Pawn snorts, “Tami, every guy in there has been watching and waiting to get to
you. But, yeah, I wanted you before I should’ve even thought about wanting you.” His fingertips softly run up the inside of my thigh, and tingles spread through me.

  “Pawn,” my breathing picks up and both my hands run through his hair.

  “Eric. Call me Eric, Tami, when you and I are alone. When our bodies are this close, I need you to see me, not Pawn.” His other hand sneaks up the back of my shirt and unsnaps my bra.

  My mind loses all focus on reality, but the need for him comes forward and takes control. “I need you, Eric.”

  He growls and gives me a quick kiss. Abruptly, he stands, and my sandals fall from my feet. Pawn cradles me to his chest and walks us through my house, to my room, and sits me on my bed. Gently, he takes my shirt off my body and my bra falls off my arms, hitting the floor. His eyes devour my tits as he gently lies me back onto the bed. His hand unbuttons my jean shorts and then pulls down the zipper.

  My hands stop his and his eyes snap up to mine. “I need to see your body, too.” I stand up next to him and push my shorts and thong to the floor. “I want to explore your body.”

  Slowly, I remove his cut and shirt, then undo his pants. Pawn kicks his boots away and then his pants. He steps forward until I step back and lie on the bed.

  He positions his strong body next to mine. I can feel his heavy length brushing against my thigh and I gulp at the feel of it.

  “Tami,” Pawn calls to me, “I’m not taking your pussy tonight, because, if I do that, I will take you as mine. I need you to be sure of who you want.”

  He nips at my neck and grinds his dick into my thigh with a moan into my ear, “God, I want to take you, take your sweet little pussy and, later, your little ass too. I want it all, angel. Eventually, you will have to decide, or I will take it and not give a fuck about what you decide.”

  My breath catches, and I pant at his promise. “You want that, don’t you? You want me to take you any way I want. That’s your fantasy, it makes your pussy wet, I bet. Open your legs,” he demands on a soft whisper.

  I bring my legs up and open them for him. He kisses my ear, “Wider, angel.” I part my legs more, and my eyes slam shut when his hand runs from my foot, up my calf and to my thigh, then gently runs his fingers through my pussy. “You are wet for me, beautiful. Has anyone touched this pussy?”

  I hesitate, scared that I will make him angry, and my muscles tense up.

  “Don’t, angel, don’t be scared of me.” He brings his lips to mine and I open for him. Our tongues fuck each other through our kiss. Pawn pulls back, “I want to know what you’re comfortable with. Tell me about it. I bet you will get even hotter. Blaze hot for me, Tami.” He continues to gently rub his fingers through my folds.

  “We were on the beach, he fingered me until I came under the stars,” I confess, and Solo’s handsome face runs through my mind, making me miss him in this moment.

  Pawn takes my nipple into his mouth and sucks, and I buck my hips in reaction. “You’re fucking on fire, angel. I’m going to lick this pussy until you see stars.”

  He moves his body over mine and sucks on my other nipple. His mouth opens, and he sucks in as much of my tit that he can. I hold my breath before I feel him pushing two fingers into me.

  “Fuck, Tami, this pussy is so tight and wet, I fucking want it.”

  I want that more than anything right now too, but one thing, one person, holds me back.

  Solo.

  Pawn pumps in and out of me while he lays wet kisses down to my pussy. His body kneels before me at the end of the bed. He pushes his boxers down and grabs his large dick. He wraps a hand around it and pumps it back and forth, and I’m lost in my lust to even speak. I’ve never seen a dick, and his is just… Holy fuck.

  Pawn knows because he smirks, happy to see the truth in my stare, that he is my first this way. He leans forward and pushes my legs even farther apart. “When I lick your pussy, angel, I want you to keep them this wide for me. I want to see all of it.”

  He leans forward and, in one long lick, claims me in his way. He softly kisses and licks me with a lover’s passion that I’ve only read about. “Yes, Eric.” I pant for him, my hands going to his hair, holding him to where I need him most. His fingers dive back inside of me and pump while he brings me higher and closer to the heavens. He brings one finger out and lightly touches the rim of my ass.

  I grab onto both of my knees and pull them up and all but beg him to do it. I want it. Slowly, he pushes a finger into my ass and ecstasy shocks my body at the intrusion. It slightly jerks, and he moans into my pussy while he licks and sucks. He picks up his pace as my breathing does with the urges and tightening of my core. “Holy fuck, Eric, don’t stop, make me come.”

  He pumps harder and quicker, and, soon, my body bursts from the blaze he started, and I do see stars behind my eyelids. He gently removes his hands and lies down next to me. I let go of my knees and rest my feet on the bed.

  “Take my dick in your hands, Tami.”

  God, this man is better than any book I’ve ever read.

  Greedily, I turn to him and take him into my hand. I slowly run it up and down. I feel the softness of the head of his dick, the veins on his shaft, and wish that tonight was the night I could feel him inside of me.

  I get up on my knees, needing more, and take control. I take Pawn’s mouth in a hungry kiss full of sexual promises.

  He holds my head to his and doesn’t let go for a moment. I begin to explore his body and kiss and lick his neck, down to his chest and abs. I run my hands over his body and memorize the taste and feel of it. I move to kneel before him, leaning forward to take a hold of his rock-hard dick into my mouth and suck him. His hand grips my hair and gathers it into a ponytail as I bob up and down any way I want. Soon, he pants and grunts out his release that shoots into the back of my throat.

  I swallow down, surprised at the taste and thickness of it. Holy fuck, that was a load. Pawn brings me up and caresses my body with his. We lie next to each other for a while before our moment is broken. “Angel, I can’t stay the night with you.”

  Regret hits both of us with the truth.

  “I know, Eric. Not until I know.”

  God, I wish I knew who I wanted.

  Chapter 8

  Solo

  It’s been a fucked up day from ever loving hell. Last night I knew that Pawn stayed with Tami for quite a while. I know what could have happened and all I could do was sit at the bar in the clubhouse and drink while I fought with myself not to barge in there and fuck Pawn up for touching her.

  This shit can’t go on much longer. I think we’re all going a little crazy because of it.

  “Fuck!” My finger gets caught between the wrench and the motor, cutting into my skin. I pull my hand out and wrap the rag sitting next to me around it.

  Tank’s eyes hit his hairline from hearing the commotion, with Saint paying attention, too. “Alrighty, boys, it’s about time for team building, bike bitches.” He sets his tools down and walks over to the small fridge. Saint and I follow along and take a seat as Tank pops the top off the beer bottles, then hands them to us. “Bitches or flow, brother?”

  “Fuck, Tank, one bitch at a time.” His eyes pop out at me, “What the fuck, asshole! Your dick was a magnet for Tami. Are you fucking a side bitch? Bro, I gotta tell ya, when the crazy ass bitches of this crew find out you fucked their little sister over …” He shakes his head at me, disbelief written all over his face. “I ain’t going against the Bitches without Borders, man. You. Are. Fucked,” he finishes his tirade and takes a long swig of his beer while Saint watches and lets me sink alone in this. Assholes, man.

  “Tank, I think part of your fucked-up support group is to actually listen?” I shake my head at him and he shrugs.

  “I just want that shit on record, should Kat find out. I ain’t messing with my bitch. She’s the fucking craziest. But go ahead. Your first bitch we need to help you with.” He makes a hurry the fuck up motion with his hand.

  Taking in a
deep breath, I find any patience that I have left. “Tami,” I pause and exhale her name like a confession. “This shit is getting out of control, I don’t know what to do next. She’s stuck in between us…”

  Tank spews beer out at us, and I inch back from the spray. “You did it! A three-way with a virgin! Fuck, that’s hot. What a girl, do tell me more, I’m all ears. Promise.” He blinks and, for once, he shuts up.

  “Dude, Tank,” Saint chuckles, “he means figuratively.”

  “There is no fig-urat-whatever the fuck that means.” Tank’s look of disgust and confusion breaks a piece of the tied-up frustration I have inside, and I can’t help but laugh with them.

  “We put Tami in.”

  Fuck, Tank’s smirk is killing me, and I can’t find a way out of this without it sounding dirty. I clear my throat, “Tami has to choose between us, me or Pawn, because we both want to claim her, and the more time I spend with her, the more impatient I get. I just want her.”

  Saint and Tank gulp down their brew, and I follow along, taking a long swig of my own.

  Saint watches me closely and takes in a long breath. “Brother, what do you really want? It may come down to you choosing your best friend over her. If you really want her, take her, don’t hold back.” Saint is who he is today because of the woman he fought for.

  “Aye, brother, I have no doubt that I can’t lose her. I care about Pawn, but this thing happening between us, I can’t do anymore.” Tank snickers again. “Shut the fuck up, Tank, you know what I mean.”

  “I don’t know about that, there could be more to the three of you. Let me ask you this,” he holds up a hand. “Don’t answer right away, but could you see yourselves together? Could you share her? Would it turn you on because you trust Pawn with her? Were you mad because Pawn was touching her and you weren’t there? Or that he touched her, period?”

  This time Saint’s eyes hit his hairline. I take a minute to think on his words as I’m rubbing my chin. “I can’t say for sure because I have never had a threesome with another guy before.”